do people get annoyed at random daily posts?

like, "fucking sammy.  talking about shit to farm sympathy to her shitty behavior.  jerk."

because that's how it feels, so if you feel like that too, just do a comment with some random word.  post anonymously.  no animals.   like "brick" or "tortilla".  not "puppy" or "kinkajou".  thanks.

buy a book, google chrome.  kinkajou is totally a real word.  as is google.

what was my point today?

i completely forgot the point.  here's a few things i probably wanted the point to be:

i wanted to write today, but i didn't,  because i felt too tired.  waking up early sucks.

so i did some tumblr stuff instead.  that's easier and way way more mindless.

i did plan out some of o2 in the shower this morning.  i think i have the main details done, and a lot of the character motivation.  i need to get it down so i don't forget, but the themes are easy.

i hate writing "and then did the same to the MONKEY on the other side."  this technical shit is hard to make not suck.  "annie PIROUETTES sammy's left CARBOXYLIC until it PURPLES like a TENEMENT" those are all apparently real words, so i'm sorry if it doesn't make sense.  if anyone reads o1 and sees some obvious fix to this stuff, let me know.  i just write what makes sense, and then feel bad about how lame it sounds.


if you were here right now, and said the magic words of "i don't hate you, sammy," i'd probably give you an awkward hug

awkward because i don't hug much, and double awkward because getting hugged by naked people is kind of super weird.

sorry.

EDIT STARTS NOW:

politics.

i was going to warn everyone that i'll probably talk about politics tomorrow.  so.  you know, if you might be against my particular politics, maybe go fuck yourself and go away.  and if you are cool with my political shit, you can ignore if i'm too weird?  i'm pretty sure those are the only groups.  fuckers who should diaf, and people who we might disagree on details, but we probably agree on the big picture stuff.

so tomorrow.  probably a brambly politics thing.  you might be able to guess the details or triggers or whatever.  but, hey, you can see me be all dumb tomorrow.

poop.

i just hate everything so much.

wake up.  stay in bed as long as possible.  go to work.  solve stupid problems for what is more money than i really need to survive, but also not enough for me to actually be happy solving those stupid problems.  go to store.  buy stupid junky food that has a 50/50 chance of either getting eaten or left to rot in my fridge.  go home.  hate all the shitty food i just bought, eat a thing of frozen mac and cheese instead.  watch stupid tv all evening while reading crap on the internet that maybe was once fun, but now just seems like a boring trudge to keep up.  go to bed and instead of sleeping (since that doesn't work anymore), watch youtube videos as i feel the springs of the mattress i just bought a year ago for like $1200 slowly stabbing me in the back until my eyes water from yawns and i put my computer away to try and pass out.

i'm supposed to do this for another like forty something years?

why?

what's the point?  what do i get out of this shit?

because there's this part of my brain that says share

go watch this video:

it's super cute, and not really super kinky, but kind of so, so like... something...

things to watch out for:

rolled up sock.  like she's wearing the sock, but all the top bit is rolled into a ring.  i totally did that when i was little, and said, "i'm robin", from batman, right?  i had a pair of green socks that i did that with a lot.  maybe that's a sign this sock thing is genetic?

panda hat.  no reason.  just a super cute panda hat.

i'm lazy

i plan to get a new post out soonish, but i've been too lazy to get anything out.

i appreciate everyone's comments on the new story, and plan on responding personally when my brain isn't sucky.

and that gave me a thought:  so, maybe, if i get five comments with things to write about, i'll put together a new story with those five things.  i don't want this to be like a threat or something, but i kind of feel like writing something, but don't have any good ideas right now.  so maybe if someone else prompted me, i could get something new together for you to read?  if you don't want to comment, you can just email me (clicky on my face to the right, i guess) and i'll accept that too.

i mean, what do you want to read? i think i'm messed up enough to write something everyone can enjoy.
:)

i hate being crazy

blah.

if you got an email from me and were all, "wtf, this was from two months ago," sorry, i was going through email and realzied i hadn't responded to a lot of them.

i'm really looking forward to this dr appointment this week.  i pretty much spent today in bed crying at random things on tv. fucking bob ross and his stupid show. he's all calm and collected as he paints, and i'm sitting there using my sheet to soak up the tears as they roll down my face.

i just want this to go away. i hate crying at random times for stupid reasons like, "that's a nice tree he painted," and "that house is ugly, hgtv," and "why haven't i eaten in 36 hours?"  i can't watch anything with a real story now, because i either hate the characters for socializing, or i pity them for being just like me. i just want my brain to stop fighting me.

:(