an update

still dealing with things in the way i pretend i think sane people do it.  i am taking out trash.  i am murdering bugs with cleaning fluids.  i am wondering if "termites" are something you can treat with regular poisons, since i can't seem to find poisons that do that.

i am wondering if i should just post summaries, and pretend i wrote a story i couldn't pull myself to write.

i have a lot of these outlined stories that i just can't motivate myself to make real.

sorry.

does anyone think that's good?  or sufficient?  i want to write the full story, but i never do.  for like a year, i never do.  if i never write something, what happens then?

so, hey, go look at the tumblr, go get the porn done, look at my sad wikipedia pages, and hopefully be sad in sympathy.

would anyone be happy if i just sketched how things would go, and then never wrote it?  would that ruin any actual stories that i can push out?

i don't know anymore, and my favorite authors seemed to have stopped, so maybe there's just a point where it doesn't click anymore.

oh no, don't say it's true.

please?

i got back from travel.  i'm super tired and exhausted, and just really want to go to sleep.

but then i check my twitter, and i see the news.


i'm going to listen to some more music for a bit, and then go to sleep, and hope that this is all just a nightmare, and i'll awake to happier tidings.

so. remember how i'm still going crazy, but no one i see in real life notices anything?

guess who's getting a promotion at work?

like "we really appreciate everything you've been doing, sammy, so i'm trying to push through a good raise, and you'll have to do all the paperwork and stuff, but since i'm the one who makes the decision, i think you've got a pretty good chance."

so this is the point where i think i just shrug my shoulders, and accept that the entire world is fucking crazy, and i'm just one of the few people who can see the kuroko shuffling shit around.

i don't know.  yesterday i was planning on if i could just eat fried chicken until that killed me.  maybe i should eat a salad tomorrow?