Tuesday, April 26, 2016

i hate myself so fucking much.


so fucking much.

imagine have that fucking bitch from high school in your head, all day, every day, telling you how much she hates you.



Sunday, April 24, 2016

ok. thanks, blogger?

something about https.  the like, less open web thing, right?  i think the government can still see you reading porn, but like, exxon can't see you reading porn.  why is everyone always so against porn, am i right?

there was another thing.  i.  i didn't read the thing, it was a thing, about stuffs, and my blogger account and how people (maybe?) can view it (maybe?).  some stuffs.



if you're like "what's drunk with sammy?" and it's all "tell me your mother's name!"

that is an uncool monster robot, so don't do that.  "what animals does sammy like?"  no!

bears, dogs, penguins, REGULAR THINGS, MONSTER BOT!

"ok, so maybe sammy is a bit paranoid..."  NO!  just, hey, maybe robots aren't always going to  be friendly.  now i'm re reading this and feeling dumb, and then re-re-reading it and thinking about friendly sandwiches.

so.  summary:

"sandwiches are good"
"drunking while drunk is super hard"
"something about burgers"
"i outlined 'play' a bit, and just need to stop being so fucking awful so i can write it.  it'[s not great, but it dials in a lot of fetishes, so, sorry for being so diverse."



Saturday, April 2, 2016

i don't blog here enough

i do the tumblr, which is literally just "that's cool.  make other people see it."

and i guess social media is logarithmic?

like, my twitter has like three people, blogger like 50, and tumblr like 500.  so, if i open a facebook, do i get 9000?

probably not, because there's a limit to being a jerk.

i am working on new stories.

i have made three sentences of "spa treatment 2".  i have thought a lot about how to make spa treatment 2 not suck.  spa treatment 2 might not be super great if you're not me.  sorry.

i've spent a lot of time walking through my apartment complex thinking about exhibition: p.  i'm still not sure exhibition: p is a good story.  we might just all have to suffer through my anxiety on that one.


sorry everybody, everywhere.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

so i'm not going to therapy tomorrow.

"but, sammy, what about the crazy?"

honestly, i'd rather just try to cope as much as i can than go back there.  being told over and over that "maybe a bit of exercise would help" isn't helping.  i know i'm fat.  i know how fat i am pretty much everyday.  did you know most bathrooms have mirrors?  apparently my therapist doesn't!

"she's trying to help."

no.  i don't buy this.  honestly, if i'm being honest?  i think she's all "well, you went to a fancy school, but you're still messed up, so maybe you're just not that great."

duh.  i mean.  fuck you, bitch.

i know i'm not that great.  this is me, telling you how much i have panic attacks when i can't think of something to have for dinner.  my brain sucks, and i hate it, and i hate me, and you know what?  i hate you more than all that put together.

and it's not that fancy of a school.  i just didn't decide to start putting letters after my name because i paid $12000 to a "registrar".

registrar is a weird word.  why do we have it?


tl;dr: i'm going to try to treat my insanity with alcohol and probably more stories.  but, really, you have to understand how hard it is to write when you're crazy.  it's not fun.  just

lots of not fun.


Wednesday, February 24, 2016

i woke up from a dream this morning.

i was laughing while running a dull knife up and down my arm.  “it can’t do anything!  it's not even sharp!"  i looked down at the blade, and noticed it was weirdly pink.  i then looked at my arm, and saw that it was mauled beyond recognition.  "ha.  gross.  people are probably going to notice that."

then i woke up.

Friday, February 19, 2016

wow. there are still a lot of typos in The Exhibition.

"Sammy continued to cry, only to stop when Annie smacked her three times with her right hand.  "Shut. The. Fuck. Up.""

clearly she smacked her four times.

"After a few breathes to calm herself, she opened the bathroom door, and strolled out, down the hall, and across the living room to the table sitting next to her cage."

omg, "breath*"

does anyone have any suggestion where to cut when i submit stuff to the nifty story page?  i could just do 1-4, the original story, which is all they have there now.

but, like, "candle" is pretty important

and so is "breakfast"

"birthday" is kind of next, but "exercise" is kind of a better story.

i want to do it this weekend, but it'd be great if someone had an opinion to share.  i'm thinking through breakfast.  it sets up the story, alters it, moves to a new town, and then settles into a safe landing.

Monday, February 15, 2016

ok. hah. huh.

so i should be asleep, but i suck at sleeping now.  because of brain issues.

in any case, i got an email that was all "hey, wow, you have a cool story up at the nifty archives."

what?  the gay/lesbian story thing i read when i was little and that got me hooked on kinky pee things?

yes.  that.  huh.

but, like, i didn't submit it there.  do i complain?  how do i complain?  i'm not angry with them posting it,  but like, i want some sort of attribution and shit.

any suggestions?