Saturday, March 28, 2015


me: "hey, tummy, let's have a snack!"
tummy: "um?  ok?  i'm kind of doing fine here."
m: "snacks!"
t: "remember that sushi?  i mean, ok.  grocery store sushi.  whatever.  i'm still working on that, so i'm pretty much all cool here."
m: "SNACKS!"
t: "and, you know, not to judge, but you've been kind of a jerk to me when you're getting dressed.  i mean, i'm just here, doing what your telling me to do.  not really my fault, i don't think."
t: "really, i think maybe we just need to calm down a bit, and discuss this a bit more than you really seem interested in.  let's set up some common goals, and we can see if can find a path that accomplishes that."
t: "ok, you know what?  let's go poop.  it's poop time now.  fuck you, you're a jerk, so now i'm triggering the poop switch.  enjoy your toilet time, jerk."

Wednesday, March 25, 2015



i usually remember "sammy, you posted crazy shit last night! make it go away!"

i didn't this time, so if i offended you, i'm sorry.  i just have this brain to deal with everyday.  usually i know when i post something dumb, and can pull it out before too many people see.


prince kuhio day is this week.

i hope to finish up "illness" when i have that day off.

fingers crossed!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

all the time

me walking to my car after getting groceries: "why does the front of my car look so weird? did i hit something? i've never noticed it looks like that."

as i get closer: "holy shit, that's not my car, that's a different car! where's my car? how did they steal my car so quickly?"

my car, sitting closer to me than that other car, but is blocked by a van: "calm the fuck down, i'm right here.  geez."

maybe it's just me

i go to look at something on my phone, and i wiggle at it, and it's just black, and i push buttons, and it's still all black, so i try to reboot it, and it pops up the "i'm dead, because you let me run out of power."

and i feel so bad about that.  like, i got this phone kind of recently, and the battery is so much better than my last phone, so i can go like a day or two without plugging it in.

but when i see that sad no power screen, i feel like i've let it down.  i love you, tiny rectangle of answers when i have stupid questions!  i'm sorry to let you run out of power, and i'll try better tomorrow!  please get better!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Thursday, March 12, 2015


you can buy chicken nuggets (for a limited time) at the price of 25¢ per nugget, in sets of ten.

i understand that the price is significantly less on the mainland.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

so i finished a project at work.

a big one.  like.  the biggest project ever to be projected onto someone to do.

this is a good thing.  i can relax somewhat compared to the last year.  six months.  whatever.

so i'm totally taking off time next week.  to get my car looked at.  and my brain, if we can schedule that close.  i'm not sure on that last thing.

i'm sorry i'm so crap all the time.  i'm sorry i apologize for me being me.  i'm sorry that everyone can't live the life they dream of all the time.

i'm sorry i'm the worst communist ever, and that i'm not always helping you do better things and achieve more.

i'm sorry i feel so awful about how shitty i feel everyday.

i know dealing with my crazy can't be easy.  i know you probably just want me to write more porn.  i want to write more porn.  my brain is nearly three stories ahead of what i can put down.  this is like getting your dessert before your appetizer.  i get that.  sorry.

i want you all to know that even when you comment with like, "pshaw, sammy.  just do you, ok?"

i know that's just code for "ok, that's fine.  but if you could tame your crazy more, that'd probably be best for everyone."

and yes, i know that.

i have half a bottle of (probably a few years old) antidepressants.  i often look at them and think about taking some.  they fucked up my sex drive super hard.  but i could coast through life a lot more.  things weren't so harsh to deal with.

so i see them, and think about how much i could maybe do better.

sorry about this all.  i wish i could just push this all into a box.

and burn that box.


that's the label on this post, i guess.