i was going to post this earlier

i woke up this morning, because i felt something tap on my bed.

"oh, it's little kimchi, my friend's dog"

"wait, no, i'm not on the mainland, i'm at home! who's fucking on my bed!?"

then i felt a spoony-cuddle like my last..um...girlfriend, we'll call her... did.

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE, BITCH!"

then my eyes opened, but they didn't open correctly, so my left eye saw my blanket and sheets, and the right was wonky looking up at the wall.

this was when i realized i was having some sort of sleep paralysis thing.

turns out, that isn't super reassuring.  "ok, don't panic, it's all fine.  you just can't move, and you're kind of have to deal with whatever hallucinations your brain can come up with.  but, just keep in mind:  it's all totally fake and not real."

so that's how i woke up this morning, and peed the bed a bit, and then had to change sheets and go back to  bed for another two hours because who wakes up at 5 am?

and really, the panic between "cute puppy!" and "OMG THAT BITCH IS IN YOUR ROOM!" is something i'd like to not deal with again, brain, thanks.