stories?

i have a long weekend this week (thanks Prince Kuhio!), and i'm kind of in the mood to write a story.  i should get back to work on the multi-part thing i dropped when my brain went wonky, but if anyone has any quick story ideas, i'd love to hear them.  i had a dream earlier this week, but i forgot it before i could get any notes down. :(

anyway, there will be a new story up by monday, and i'm hoping to get other posts planned and scheduled to post so i can kind of get back in the groove of things.

since somebody asked for links

on this post, anonymous asked "You always have the best taste in porn, would you share some of your sources sammy? :)"  so, since i've been busy recently fighting my brain, it's probably best if i just do that, so people can find their own porn. :)  these are kind of ordered based on when i found them, but not really that well.

1. various foreign language artist pages.  here are two of my favorites:  latex felice doesn't update anymore, but HSC still does.  my japanese is pretty bad, but good enough that i can navigate around ok.  you might have more trouble, but i guarantee if you click around on those pages, you can find some good stuff.  HSC does picture stories now, and even if you can't read them, you can still follow the story a bit.
2. dolcett stuff (and i read this forum now, even though i don't post much).  this was the first really hard stuff i found online, and even though i was disgusted at first, i kept going back to read more and more.  it's kind of stuck with me.
3. pony girl stuff.  sir jeff's was probably my first exposure to this, and i probably found a link there to aigando, which was where i was first introduced to Mr. Veterinarian's wonderful work.
4. picture boards.  these seem to close up pretty regularly, but gurochan used to be really good, and although i've not been recently, this 99chan still has a fetish section.
5. pixiv.  so you know how the foreign language artist pages above are in japanese?  so is pixiv, which makes it a bit hard, sorry.  still, a lot of the artists that i remember from individual pages that then closed have moved here, so i subscribe to my favorites, and can just log in and see all the new stuff each day.  furaffinity is kind of the same thing, but in english, and more furry related.  deviant art kind of is the same idea, and i've linked to a few artists there before.
6. motherless.  this was a big source for awhile, but then my brain broke, and i stopped scanning.  it's pretty good if you want something specific, or want to spend an hour looking at someone's idea of good porn.  yes, sure, that guy is totally having sex with that girl.  but it's boring, and i don't think we need 11000 pictures of it.  she's got fake boobs anyway.
7. these are probably my favorite story places if you want to read stuff:  gromet's is the best ever, and has lots of fun categories.  bdsmlibrary is where i submit my stuff, and usually has good things.  gagged utopia is pretty good sometimes, but they're a bit slow.  i've not looked much at literotica, but i really like sarahcheer's stories, and if you like the stuff here, you probably will too.  on that topic, you might like nennameerkat at furaffinity, too.

so hopefully that gives people a start on finding other cool things.  if you find something particularly good, don't hesitate to share it. :)

i'm annoyed by this cycle more than you are

the past two or three weeks have been kind of horrible in my head.  when i started on the new drugs, things seemed better. that kind of degenerated into staying in bed all day and calling in sick and constantly thinking about killing myself.  i went back to the psychiatrist, and after describing things, she told me to back down on the dosage, because apparently they "activate" me.  i would have thought that was a good thing, but i guess not.  basically, i overloaded that bit of my brain, and it reacted by coming up with compulsive thoughts of suicide.

so, i backed off like she said, and picked up the prescription she gave me for another-another drug (this time paxil).  i'm supposed to switch to that one if i feel like things aren't working.  she also suggested that if the suicidal thoughts kept on, i might need a "mild antipsychotic. Not that I think you're psychotic or anything, it's just that sometimes those work better on these specific thoughts."

the good side of things is that i don't have the headaches and other side effects i was getting with the celexa, and my panic attacks seem to have resolved as well.  that happened when i switched to the zoloft, which was a welcome change.  the suicidal stuff kind of made that a bittersweet victory, though.  now i'm feeling better than i have been, so i figured it was time to come back to reality a bit.

well, not reality, i guess.  my blog.  it's almost like reality, just a little bit weirder, maybe.

:) <--actual smile like i have on my face right now.


so, hopefully this will stick around a bit longer, and i won't get frustrated with myself and hide away again.  i can't guarantee that, though, since i've had short bouts of feeling good in the past.  i really want to say thanks to everyone who's left a comment or sent an email or anything.  i'm going to try to get comments responded to tonight, and do emails tomorrow, but if i miss you for some reason, just know that i'm really thankful for all the kind words.

not dead

will try to say more tomorrow.