so
it turns out that "maybe i should drain out some blood from my arms, and see if that helps"
is called "suicidal ideation."
i wish i had friends. or loved ones. or could love a one, if it came down to it.
i wake up just wanting hugs, and then curl up to have nightmares of being murdered by grabby zombies.
i hate this. i just want what i see other people having. someone to share a life with. someone who doesn't turn into grabby zombies.
