listen to this now, ok?

i saw the man who fell to earth a few years ago in the theater, "because i've heard of this guy before."

i'm still pretty sure that i'm a lesbian, because when i get turned on, it's about that kind of stuff, right?

but seeing David Bowie doing stuff?  and even recent stuff, where's he's old and whatever?  yes.  please.

sorry, was just listening to stuff, and this popped up, and i just had to share.

so hey

i've been down lately

like way down.  i'm hoping it's just job stress.  my boss has been all "do this stuff! i know it's impossible, and you probably should be like five people, but you can do it all by yourself, because you're smart, so it needs to be done like, tuesday"

but like, no?  ok?  you want me to do something that's super hard to figure out, and you don't let me have any help, and i have to do it on a deadline so you can look good to your boss?  man, fuck you.

except i can't say that, because duh.  jobs.  fucking jobs.

anyway, a few weeks ago, somebody on (i think) motherless chat sent me this video.  it's been kind of cool to listen to, because it's kind of relaxing and all that.  i think the dude was trying to make a "stray"/"puppygirl" pun, because he was kind of all "did you catch that?"  yes, dude.  i caught that.  you're like 20% clever.

so, kind of a creeper, but pretty decent taste in relaxing music.





in any case...i'm concerned i need to go back to the therapist again.  there's a lot of brain stuff i can't really cope with most days.  kind of a constant drum of "no one will ever really love you, so if that's not happening, why bother dealing with 50 years of loneliness?"  thanks, brain.  i feed you yummy pizza, and you're all "let's be a dick to sammy, just for funsies."

so, you know.  hey.  i don't want to spawn a lot of "we love you, sammy," comments.  i know you're all cool like that.  and i know this is just how things sometimes go.  it's all hard sometimes, for everbody.  it's just...today was hard.  this week has been hard.  this month?  guess what?  hard.

sigh.

so i'll dry my eyes now, i guess.  tomorrow is a new day.  we'll see how it goes.

saying stuff

so today i went to go see frozen again.  it's still totally wonderful, and you should still go see it.  again.  this was time number two, plus maybe another one if you count all the downloaded stuff.

and yesterday, i did go see "the wind rises," which isn't as good, i think, but is so beautiful and wonderful, and sad there towards the end, but it ends kind of, more even so sadly?

it's good, though, so maybe go try to see it. it's good, and if you don't like it, email me your address, and how much you paid, and i'll send you that money back by mail.  really.  just go try it, and see if you don't love the love, and the ambition, and the everything.

but, if you haven't, go see frozen first.  because elsa is totally cute.

like

she's now how cute is defined. sorry.  Deal with it.

movies?

i was going to go see the new miyazaki movie tomorrow, because he makes cool cartoons, right?  and it's finally opening at my local theater.

but then i saw that they're still showing frozen, and that movie was so super cool.

i kind of want to see that too, and do a double cartoon movie day of it all.

this has nothing to do with anything, it's just that sometimes i need to say stuff, and this is my best say stuff place, i guess.

i need to share

i just went out to my lanai to look at the stars and be all "girl who goes to look out at the city and stars instead of just going to sleep."

i'm pretty sure i just saw a girl in the building next door put on a sheet like a cape or some wings, or maybe she's a ghost now? and then fuck her husband/bf/random dude.

she had lots of dramatic swoops and swirls.

it probably looked cool, lying on the bed with her sitting up above you.

have a good night, cape or wings or ghost girl. have a good night.
:)

The Exhibition: Part 3

this was supposed to be the end.  it just kept going on though, so i decided to make another break, so now it's 4 parts.  i'm pretty sure that's the end though.  

i still don't know if that'll be the end-end.  maybe do more stories with the characters?  maybe just add part 5,6,99?  we'll see.

anyway, part 3:

i don't have time to read these tonight

but if figured i'd share, so if other people are interested.  again, i haven't read any of them (other than the first one), so i don't know if they're good yet.  they just looked interesting, and i started clicking them into new tabs, and now there are so many tabs open, and i need to get to bed soonish.  so if you read them, and really liked one or really hated one, let me know, and i'll read that one too.

it's like a book club.

• pets
• Life of Dog
• Volunteer Breeding
• K9
• Seeing Eye Dog
• Girl Hunt
• The Law Of A Strange Land
• CAGE.2
• the Collection Gallery
• Sex Education
• enema/scat
• Brainwashing Process
• Brainwashing Process 2
• Cute Toys
• Kichikuno Ori Gallery
• Haisetsu -Enema-
• real/manga combo, but also scat based?
• Hitoduma eros vol. 4 
• Hitoduma eros vol. 8
• hitoduma eros vol.5
• hitoduma eros vol.9
• Hitoduma eros vol. 2
• Hitoduma eros vol. 6
• momoyama jirou

The Exhibition: Part 2

so i wrote more.

random blargle

hopefully people liked that last story.  if you didn't, then too bad, because i think i have two sequels in my head.  it just kind of flows easily, unlike a lot of other stories i've tried to restart and finish, so that's how it goes.

while i was planning the next part, i remembered another writer, who kind of covers a lot of the same kind of themes, although not really in the same way i was going to do it.  in any case, this Blair Brek archive has a bunch (all?) of her stories so you can read them.

finally, i saw this news story today, about this lady in california who had a bunch of plastic surgery and is now doing hypnotherapy to be more like a bimbo.  which i guess fits in with the themes in a lot of those Blair Brek stories.  it's kind of a shame, because i really think she was prettier before the surgery.  anyway, it's kind of weird to see someone actually doing what i've read about in stories.

The Exhibition

i had today off, so i decided to turn the story idea i've been mulling for a few months into a proper thing.  all the concepts here are super cliche and all that, but it's the story i think about when i wake up early, but don't ahve to get out of bed, and so i can just stay in bed and cuddle up.

i also pulled thoughts from a few pixiv artists:
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=41684341
http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=31147825

and cocoasoft videos:
http://www.talaat.net/index.php?route=product/product&path=80_82&product_id=88
http://www.talaat.net/index.php?route=product/product&path=72_84&product_id=184

so you know...that's where i stole things from.

let me know if you have any comments or thoughts.  i don't know if i'm going to do a sequel or not.  i have some more ideas, but maybe it's just better to let this stand on its own?

anyway, i put it below the cut

Hey! Let's be all crazy, right?

so i guess that last thing did work? i saw this "embed pixivs into stuff" code on a thing, and thought i'd try it.  i can see it, so i assume everyone else can?  or is it like secret hidden if you don't have a pixiv account that lets you see the r-18 stuff?  anyone out there want to comment and tell me?  mostly i feel bad posting pixiv stuff that don't tell you how to find the cool other stuff that artist made, so i want to fix that, and this fixes that, right?

second thing:

as i was driving home from work tonight, i hit on this great idea: valentine's day sucks, but i love this frozen movie because omg it's great, so maybe i should spend valentine's day going to the sing-a-long version of it, and just belt out my love for that song i posted, because it's been in my head since i saw the movie, and the cold never bothered me anyway.

but, i guess it's not going to be in my favorite theater, or, maybe like any theater here on valentines?

so should i go to one this weekend, and make a fool of myself stomping and gesturing during that one song, and then on valentines do my standard "eat chocolate and steaks and potatoes and wish i had a lover to hug my crazy out"?

and yes

i totally am hoping i'll go to the sing a long, sing a long, and have some cute girl come up after and kiss my forehead and say "you can be my elsa anyday you dumb poopyface".  shut up, i get to have whatever fantasy i want on my blog, and you can go fuck yourself if you disagree.  ya jerk.

:-P
\

also

you know what?

I just did tags

I'm not sorry at all.  nope.  no sorry available.  sorry for that (not sorry, there is no sorry here).  I'm all grown up.  And watching disney movies.  so.  shut up.  and fuck you. :-P

this is totally off topic, but go with it, ok?

last weekend, after various internet things prompted me, i went to go see Frozen, by Disney.  have you seen it?  ok.  so, stop now, and go out and see it, because that shit is fucking perfect.  name a disney movie.  No, that sucks, you're wrong, Frozen is better.  Want some proof?

if you didn't love that, go away and never look at me again.  that's a kind of freedom and beauty i can only wish i could channel.

a) she's beautiful
b) she's ok with who she is
c) she doesn't care what you think about that.

you got a problem?

does anyone think?

that krampus guy is kind of cool


what with the beatings and all?

oh

maybe not, i guess

i'm bad at this

i feel really bad that i haven't posted anything recently, or put up some porn for people, or whatever.

but...


i think my brain isn't broken anymore?

like, i look at the regular porn i subscribe to, and i get aroused, and my hand takes a little trip (you know), and things work out, and then i go to sleep, and wake up early the next day ready to do math to things that i'm paid to math at.


so i'm super super sorry i've been lazy a lot recently

and i do have dream things i'd like to post

but maybe i should just admit that i'm on hiatus, and that my brain isn't up to the blogging thing now.

that makes me kind of sad, because a lot of you were super helpful, and calm, and caring, and made me feel better when i posted things.   Mr. Christopher of the Leather Crafter stuff, you're totally up on the list.

Mr. Veterinarian, who i said i would sent pictures to (but never ended up doing), you're totally there too.



if you sent me stuff, and were offended that i didn't respond, please don't be angry.  my brain works differently now, and i think it's for the best of everyone.




ok, deep breath.

"sammy, will you never post again?"

no, that'd be silly.  i just want to let everyone know that i'm admitting that i'm a failure at bloging, so let's just let it be a random thing, ok?

"but, but...i lovve you!"

no you don't.  stop sending me those emails.



so, let's all be kinks, and be cool, ok?

OK!

one little thing

"Masochist Dog Enjoys Being Walked Around On Leash While Naked"

i saw this during work today, and had to be careful to keep my giggles under control. :)

also, weird dream thing from this morning:

i'm at work, and it's just like a never ending stream of things to do.  eventually, i have a chance for a break, and so i go over to a futon, and curl up to take a nap.  however, a bunch of people come in to get me to do things, or check things, or whatever, and with a angry growl, i roll over, and fall off the futon.

but i don't hit the floor quite right, and realize that my head has fallen onto someone's lap.  it's cradled gently between two smooth pale thighs, and i look up, and see a naked redhead staring down.

all the work people kind of get quiet, and then (my brain) makes a terrible "carpet/drapes" joke because my hair is in her crotch.

then i wake up, and even i go "dude, wtf?"  i think i've been working too hard recently. :-/

not dead

sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!

a) i've had lots of work crap that has totally eaten up a lot of what was free time.

b) i've sorted out a lot of brain issues that were fucking with me.  yay less fucked up brain!

c)  so

like a lot of things.  assorted public rape things.  that fucked up dude in cleveland.  a variety of things that sound great in my half-awake fantasies, but when they show up on the news, it's totally less cool.

i think that's a lot of why i've been hesitant to post.  like, my brain isn't so fucked up, and i read news stories, and i don't want people to go through the shit in the news

even if it is like 99% the same as the shit i dream up in the late night.

i guess i'm caught in the middle of reality and fantasy, and not sure how to get out.  i do have three (maybe four) dream things that i want to post, but this hesitancy is stopping me.

just

like


so people know, and shit.

i am increasingly bad at posting

but i have three dream stories i want to get up this weekend.

"street"

"party"

"bed"

i hope you'll enjoy them.
:)

i feel dumb

i browsed on craigslist, all "what's going on"

and someone was like "let's chat about medical fetishes!"

and i'm all "yay! let's do that!"

but then it turns out they're totally a scammer trying to steal my money.

:(

cause, like, you know

medical fetish is kind of an odd thing to try to scam on, right?  i mean, how many people are all like "woo! enemas and catheters and straitjackets!"

so, now i feel dumb, but whatevers, because i totally had dirty thoughts to thinking about that stuff. :-P

and i have a dream thing to write up, and i hope people like it, because apparently dirty thoughts + um...like three times on sunday, maybe? = wonderful dream things that just appear fully formed.

thanks, that part of my brain that kinks out even when i'm asleep!
:)

grumblr

date went badly.  she was like if you took a sammy, and then added another sammy.  i don't mean to be rude or something, and i know i need to lose some weight to be healthy again, but she was way way way too fat.  we had sushi, and then departed, and i feel bad ignoring her messages, but that just isn't cool, ok?

seriously

feels all the bads there. :(

second thing:

i totally intend to move my google readers tumblers to tumblr this weekend.  so then i can reblog stuff you might like, and subscribe, or whatever tumblr calls it.

why can't technology just stick around so sad crazy girls can do the sad crazy thing?

:-/