it's not really lucid dreaming, i don't think

but the past two nights, i've woken up, ignored an alarm, gone back to sleep, and had what can only be labeled something like "guided interactive storytelling" or something like that.  the first night wasn't as good (zombies and military conspiracy things, and clearly my brain was working through something).

but last night was super weird and feels like the kind of thing I'd have had the energy to turn into a full story in the past.  i'm putting some of it under a cut, so check tags and make sure you're ok with things before you click through.

the story works in three "seasons," like it's a television show or something.

season 1:

we've been sent to a observation base somewhere in the ocean, and are going to be left there to take care of the place and run the observations (of something, idk).  i arrive early, with an actual friend from work (we're going with "Beth" for her name here, b/c it isn't).  we get the initial training, and know that we have to constantly keep an eye out for people trying to break in, and also there are sirens (from mythology) who want to break in as well, and can disguise themselves.  those are the basic rules, so when everybody else arrives, we try to explain it to them, but clearly the other people don't understand.

the first night, someone knocks on the door and claims that they just missed the first boat, and someone let's them in, but they cause trouble, and i realize that this is one of the sirens, and i tell everyone to keep everything locked and closed, and and try to chase them away, eventually driving them into our storage chamber, which somehow has four outside walls, and all the walls have doors, and the doors are all open.  i quickly go around closing and deadbolting all the doors, which are all different, and have different mechanisms, and i shout to Supergirl (from the tv show) to close and lock her door, thankful that she's helping, but she doesn't do anything except stare at the wall, so i push her aside to lock the final door.  a ferret sized pink dragon tries to hide, but i smush it into a corner while taking Supergirl back so we can call someone to come take her away, because she's completely catatonic.  "They" tell me that they'll send a helicopter, and can land it on a ship docked "next door," but we have to cross the ocean to do that.

i woke up a bit here, and when i went back to sleep, it was now

season 2:

same kind of situation, but the base is now like a giant house, and there's a pool and spa area to one side that we can use, but we have to keep an eye out for the sirens still.  there are also a lot more people here, and i'm still some kind of manager.  i try to keep things organized, but in one of the downstairs bedrooms, somebody is tied up on the bed and wrapped up in the sheets and blankets (probably because i was all wrapped up in my own sheets;  i spin in my sleep).  in any case, i try to help release her, but we keep getting turned on, and despite the fact that she's married at home, we have sex, and i eventually get her untrapped.

i head back upstairs and there's a package for me, and i open it up and it's weird and confusing, but there's a bunch of cardboard that i have to fold and build into some kind of display case, and there are a bunch of paper slips that are supposed to go on display.  i read them, and they're super passive-aggressive notes that are like "i hate you and what you did, so this slip is equal to -12 points."  this is weird, because we already have point system, and there's a giant box of board game tokens that anyone can grab a handful of whenever they want to hand them out if they like what people do.  i want to make sure i'm not confusing myself, so i track Beth down to a narrow "booth" like room, where she's watching something on tv, and the booth is like one in a museum or something, where you can watch a video without disturbing other people.  i show her the slips, and she's doesn't understand why they'd be there except to try and cause drama between people.  

next, one of the teens that are here show me a weird box of socks, and as i'm looking them over, i realize they have squishy "paw" treads that are actually gummy fruit candy things in like condom wrappers sewn on the inside of the socks.  it's weird, but i can at least toss them at people and tell them they're a snack.

it starts to get late, and i try to get everyone to come in from the pool, because we should get inside to avoid the sirens, but one person won't move, and is doing the same catatonic thing from earlier and staring at the wall, and i try to get everyone to help get her inside.  when we do, there's an alarm because somebody is trying to break in, and i have to deal with that.  once that's done, the teen comes to tell me that it's dinner time.

hey, i know the answer is "no," but:

does anyone else watch that carmilla youtube show i mentioned at some point in the past?

did you watch this most recent episode 30 from season 2?

did i miss something somewhere?  i thought they were about to try and do something, but now the mean sister is dead?

what?

like, did i seriously miss five episodes or something?

i am so confused, and don't understand what's going on, and all sorts of other similar thoughts.

ok, it took a month for me to actually sit down and watch the rest.

carmilla.


this is pretty good.  and honestly, it took a big binge watch to come around, but you should go watch if you take recommendations from drunk jerks with blogs.

yes, yes, it's slow, but you get to like episode 15, and then it kind of takes off.  maybe episode 18.  22?  i'm not clear where the take off point was.  it was blah then not blah.  i'm vaguely scribbling on a chalkboard that doesn't exist.  this probably doesn't help anyone.]

yes, i'm drunk.  yes, i'm a jerk.  yes, i have a blog.  christ, it's like you're new here.

so, everybody, go watch season 1, and i'll try to catch up with season 2 when i can.

and write things.

i'll try to do the thing i claim is the thing that i do that is totally the thing i don't ever do because i have a lazy deep down in my heart where the motivation lives.

carmilla.

carmilla

i did carmilla.

and this new one.

i was all "fuck all this shit.  fuck it all.  this shit? fuck it!" until chapter 11.  out of like 38 or something.  i hope they figure out how much they're fucking it up.

but i'm kind of getting it, so i'm not so so hard "fuck it" as i was.  i'm going to go watch episodes 12-38+, so i might totally change this around, but right now, i'm giving it a weak "go see this".

if you care.

if not, i'm going to give you a super sweaty hug!

*gross!*

i'll probably have more to say about it later, but

today was a good day.

yesterday was good too, when they said that just because of a typo, millions of people won't get kicked off their insurance.  reading the news, it sounded like a lot of people were angry, because they wanted people to suffer.

but hearing today that they also decided that just because some people are stupid, doesn't mean everyone doesn't deserve to be treated the same.  like, first off, duh.  but to have it set into the law that no matter where you go in the country, you get to be treated the same.  i'm crying now, but it's a good cry.

on the radio driving home, they had people arguing that "now gay people are going to be discriminating against the people who didn't want them to get married!  they're the bad guys now!  religion!"  what?

no?

what?

if i (suddenly got sufficiently less crazy to form a proper relationship, find someone who didn't mind the remaining crazy, and decided that i) wanted to get married, i'm not going to go into like, "snake-handling speaking-in-tongues it's-your-own-fault-you-were-raped" church, and be all, "hah!  i got you now, intolerant jerks!  you've got to marry me now!  rules! laws!  boom!  where's your god now?"

like, in what world do people do that?

i'd probably skip the church thing, or we'd find one that was cool with the whole thing.  why would you want to do something like that with jerks around?

see, that's why this has been dumb since the beginning.  it's never been "gay people against religion."  it's just that so many people think that if everyone is treated the same, somehow they don't win as many religion points or whatever.  "i can only do my religion if i make sure you know that i don't like you in the most public way possible."  right.  great.  go be awful someplace else.


anyway, i'm going to get drunk and try not to cry anymore tonight.

i liked this story.

"Its all about socks".  unfinished versions of unfinished pages.

you should probably check the labels to see if this is the kind of story you want to read too.  i've been in an off mood recently, and this clicked with me.

tuesday morning dream stuff

do i put these behind a cut?  looks like no.  this one is a bit weird, and i'm probably forgetting details that might make it less weird.  also, it starts off horror, and then turns into romance.  because brain?  anyway:

--

i'm in a new town.  i'm wandering down the streets, with all sorts of closed shops and things.  suddenly, a bunch of people come running around a corner.  "don't go that way!"  they continue past me, and i wander into the intersection to see what's going on.  more people are there, but they're dismembered and bleeding, or stuck in the walls and street.

because it's literally a "new town."  it's still being constructed in the dream, and as the buildings and blocks form, they're killing anyone who's trapped in that area.  i turn back to where i came from, and despite there not being enough time for this to happen, one of the streets is now blocked off with cardboard boxes and things that are taped to the walls, and extend up to the tops of the building.  the people who ran past did this to make sure no one went down the bad street.

i find the building i came out of, but there's shouting and stuff coming from inside.  it feels like a bank, maybe, and i'm at the "back alley side door" that banks totally have.  i open the door a crack, and there's a guy inside with a gun who'd taken everyone hostage.  he rushes toward me, but i pull a pen from my pocket and stab him.  like a bunch.  i remember feeling the pen tip hit a rib, and then slide toward a gap to continue in.  that gave me a new target to aim for.

i half wake up, because this is pretty messed up.

--

it's later.  the town is finished, although it's always dark here, because it's under a highway intersection.  my house is two blocks away from that bank, and one evening, i decide to go buy a book.  i don't bother putting on shoes, because the book store is next door to my house.

i wander around the book store, when i notice another girl looking at similar books as me.  we start talking, and we have a bunch of things in common.  we leave the book store (and we both had groups of friends there at this point, but we ditch them), and are running around in a park.  it's night time now, way later than it should be if time worked right.

she comes up with a "game" to play.  she picks up a long hard stick, and chases me around and spanks my butt with it.  i grab my own stick, and use it to defend myself, and to spank her.  she's using hers like a baseball bat, kind of.  mine is more flexible, and i'm holding one end, "underhand" if that makes sense, so that when i flex my wrist, it whips out to my side.

we eventually collapse into a pile on the ground, laughing.  i say something about going home, and she says, "no, this is where i live."  i'm confused, but then she kind of melts into the ground, because she's a fairy.  a city park fairy, who lives next to that one bush, i guess.  i'm still confused, but i get up, and walk to the street, where i meet her friends, who are going home to the park (they're fairies too).

i wake up for real here, with the standard sad feeling of loneliness i get after these kind of dreams.

The Exhibition: Food

The Exhibition: Food
sammy_808@live.com
http://sammytriesagain.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-exhibition-food.html

three comics

they're all about scat, so.  you know.  you might not like them.

• Eriko's Perpetual Motion
• Junko's Extracurricular Excretion Activities
• Nasty Maid Cafe+ ~Their Day Off~ 

i'm unhappy, i'm going to tell you why, and you're going to tell me that it's dumb to be angry at something 142 years old.

i saw a thing about vampires this week, and remembered there was a story "Carmilla" that sounded interesting.  so i read it.

first half of the story: super gay.  this may in fact be the most gay thing i've ever read, and i've read my own stories.  carmilla and laura are totally getting married, and it's wonderful.  sure, you know she's a vampire, because duh, she's obviously a vampire, but whatever.  everybody has something wrong with them.

second half of the story: some other dude comes in and retells the first part of the story from when carmilla totally visited him and his daughter fell in love with her.  but he knows how it works out, and let's just say his daughter didn't make it through all "alive" and stuff.  fine.  it's kind of boring reading the short version of the story we totally just read, though.

third...last part of the story: bing bang boom, the dudes kill carmilla in her grave, and don't tell laura anything, so even though she's the narrator of the whole thing, she let's us know at the end that she had to read this in the official like "vampire police" report.

but it's a massive shame that after building up a great beginning, with a nice style and vague impending doom thing, it ends all "and then we killed her and went out and had tacos to celebrate."  it's just ruined.

plus, there's carmilla's "mom," who's all "i'm super mysterious, but when i return to pick up my daughter in three weeks, you'll totally remember who i am."  but SHE NEVER COMES BACK!  just gone.  you killed carmilla, so now you don't get to know who she is.

and it's stupid.   because my "oh, i bet this is the twist" is so much better than just "LOL< NOPE!"

we get the most introduction to the mom in the other dude's story, and he relates that carmilla is actually related to his dead wife.  so make the mom his stupid dead wife!  she's wearing a mask when they meet at a party, and she's all "we know each other well, and i know all these details about you, blah blah blah."

so, years ago, when his wife died, she didn't really die, she was just killed by carmilla.  she came back, found her descendant, vampire-ized her, and then they went off to run this "babysit my vampire-daughter-who's-really-my-super-great-aunt-or-something" scheme.  then, the reveal when she comes back and uncovers her face and is all, "IN YOUR FACE, LIVING DUDES!" would be so. perfect.

plus, it'd be closer to actual horror than "visiting guests might turn your daughter into a lesbian.  or suck out her life.  one or the other, and since this is 1872, we're kind of scared of both."

wtf, 1950s

so...the "bull dyke" cuddled up against her and gave her kisses?

we're not the cause of problems.  it's just making everyone feel happy if they want to.

and i can't imagine that happened on the floor.  "are you ok?  let's more to the bed, maybe?  it's softer, and the table isn't in the way.  come on, we'll have more fun there."


this is just liek how ole white dudes imagined how lesbians acted.

lame

The Exhibition: Breakfast

i don't know that i'm going to continue much more.  i just had to put a finish on things.

i did this as kind of stream-of-consciousness, which i usually don't do.  i like outlines, and detailed plot flows.  however, this has been kicking around my head for a few weeks, and that kind of smooths out the rough bits too.  and, since i'm trying to write a new story series (six parts or so?), i just wanted to get this out and done.

it's an epilogue.  or a segue.  we'll see how it goes.

it's boring, and not sexy, and not really super kinky.  it's words mostly.  and eggs and bacon.  it's breakfast.  but i had to get it out.

Breakfast.

in which sammy learns about other people who were probably lesbians, or at least bi, and i've known their work for like fucking forever.

Dusty Springfield.

i never knew who did that song, and then it popped up randomly, and i looked at it, and huh.

or that one.

or, that other one, but i guess dianne warwick did it first?  whatever.  that's not what i remember from listening in my grandparents' car.

this is apparently my life now.


freaking out about random shit from like sixty years ago, while i stay up later than i should before that stupid telecon with the east coast?

wah.

because watch it, ok?

i liked it.  maybe you like it too.  it's cute.  are you cute?  be cute and watch it, ok?

frozen

i mean...amazon is sending me the blue ray and the dvd in the mail right now.

but it's still playing at my theater?

i really want to go, with my own copy, and sit through it again in the theater.

sorry, this is just me ranting about how i want to throw money at something because it tickled me in the way i wanted.

but seriously, if you haven't seen it, go go see it.

Hey! Let's be all crazy, right?

so i guess that last thing did work? i saw this "embed pixivs into stuff" code on a thing, and thought i'd try it.  i can see it, so i assume everyone else can?  or is it like secret hidden if you don't have a pixiv account that lets you see the r-18 stuff?  anyone out there want to comment and tell me?  mostly i feel bad posting pixiv stuff that don't tell you how to find the cool other stuff that artist made, so i want to fix that, and this fixes that, right?

second thing:

as i was driving home from work tonight, i hit on this great idea: valentine's day sucks, but i love this frozen movie because omg it's great, so maybe i should spend valentine's day going to the sing-a-long version of it, and just belt out my love for that song i posted, because it's been in my head since i saw the movie, and the cold never bothered me anyway.

but, i guess it's not going to be in my favorite theater, or, maybe like any theater here on valentines?

so should i go to one this weekend, and make a fool of myself stomping and gesturing during that one song, and then on valentines do my standard "eat chocolate and steaks and potatoes and wish i had a lover to hug my crazy out"?

and yes

i totally am hoping i'll go to the sing a long, sing a long, and have some cute girl come up after and kiss my forehead and say "you can be my elsa anyday you dumb poopyface".  shut up, i get to have whatever fantasy i want on my blog, and you can go fuck yourself if you disagree.  ya jerk.

:-P
\

also

you know what?

I just did tags

I'm not sorry at all.  nope.  no sorry available.  sorry for that (not sorry, there is no sorry here).  I'm all grown up.  And watching disney movies.  so.  shut up.  and fuck you. :-P

this is totally off topic, but go with it, ok?

last weekend, after various internet things prompted me, i went to go see Frozen, by Disney.  have you seen it?  ok.  so, stop now, and go out and see it, because that shit is fucking perfect.  name a disney movie.  No, that sucks, you're wrong, Frozen is better.  Want some proof?

if you didn't love that, go away and never look at me again.  that's a kind of freedom and beauty i can only wish i could channel.

a) she's beautiful
b) she's ok with who she is
c) she doesn't care what you think about that.

you got a problem?

i should post images at some point

so last time i mentioned that my hard drive with all my stuff crashed.  it turns out that sammy is better at backing things up than she thought. :)

i discovered a "misc videos" folder on my usb drive in the folder that had the handful of videos i knew i had backed up.  this new folder has the entire set of things i had on that disk.  i guess i didn't copy things correctly, so instead of going into the video folder, they went into a new one?

whatever.  things aren't as bad as i feared.


and then this morning i had another weird dream thing.  it took place in my apartment, but it wasn't my apartment.  the best description would be like a temple, like a mayan thing or something.  i say that because at the end of the hall, there was a really long staircase/pyramid thing going down to the street.

in any case, i'm there with (who i guess is) my Mistress.  She's leading me on a leash, as i walk on my hands and knees.  my hands are covered in mitts, but i can still bend my fingers.  my legs are covered in latex stockings, although they have steel inserts in the feet.  the inserts hold my feet so that they're pointed, but since i'm crawling, this isn't really a problem.

She brings me down to the end of the hall, and we're at the top of the staircase.  i see some ballet boots and shoes, and pick up the shoes and look up at my Mistress.  She responds with a "fine, you can wear them, but it's not like it's going to make a difference." i realize that's because the steel insert does the same thing, but i don't care, and slide the shoes on my feet.  i can't lace them up, since i can't use my fingers.

we start down the stairs, and i can see that there's a group assembling at the bottom.  i'm not sure what's going on, but with the calm tug of the leash, i know that things will be ok.

and then i wake up in a fairly happy mood.

because i have to wake up early tomorrow, so making a blog post at 12:30 is totally a good idea

for like the second time in a year, the hard drive with all my porn movies died.  last time, i was able to convince it to live long enough so i could copy most of it off to a new one, but this time, it looks like it's all dead.

fuck.

the scat stuff, the bondage stuff, the stuff that involves puppies that are so very cute.

gone, i think.

:(

and since the place that i used to get torrents from to get things is gone, i'm probably screwed on a lot of that.  i still have some stuff i wrote to dvds, but i'll have to find those again, since i mistakenly thought "oh, just buy a big hard drive, and put it all there, it'll be ok."

stupid computers

stupid shitty computers that suck at keeping my porn in a place where i can see it whenever i want to.

grumble.

i guess tomorrow i'm going to best buy to get another big hard drive, and i'll save anything new there, and then it'll break, and i'll be without things i thought i'd have forevers.

here's a crappy dream thing:

i had a dream last night that i was going on a trip, and so i zipped up a dog into my suitcase.  not a small dog, mind you.  like german shepherd big.

wtf?

here's the dream thing from friday night (it's better)

i'm at work, but it's not like real work.  it's some idealized "you're at work now, sammy" kind of place.  there's this new girl, or maybe she's not new, but she definitely doesn't actually work at the work i work at.

we're having some sort of meeting, but there aren't enough seats.  she tucks her legs up onto the couch (because that makes sense) and suggests i sit on the floor in front of her, so at least i have something to rest against.

she's taken off her shoes, and her legs are covered in wonderful grey cable knit tights.  they're super thick and bulky, but super cute.

we're having this meeting, and after some time, she stretches out, and wraps her right leg around my neck, pulling me close.  she tucks that foot under herself, and then lets the other one slide down my body.  i'm pretty sure legs aren't that long, but i feel her teasing at my pants, sliding in under my underwear.

it's the next day, and because in my dreams, i'm apparently in high school, i put a note on her desk that's like a valentine with a "do you like me, yes/no" thing on it.

jump forward to the end of the day, and my desk has two tiny envelopes and a book that i loaned out (to the new girl? i guess?).  the envelopes are thick, like they're overstuffed with stuff.  

i pick them up, and rush home, intending to read the notes there.

and then i wake up.

wah

do you know hannah hart?

she's this youtube lesbian who's going around places soon, but probably not hawaii. :(

but, i'm catching up on her youtube stuff for her tour, and she's totally who i want to meet

like...you know "meet"?

everyone's with me here, right?

anyway, i totes have a story that came up last night, i just need to make the words for it.  i hope you enjoy it, although it's not a lot of bondage or sex or stuff...just like a thought?

a thought that made me snooze my alarm for twenty minutes until i could get off and whatnot.