so hey

i've been down lately

like way down.  i'm hoping it's just job stress.  my boss has been all "do this stuff! i know it's impossible, and you probably should be like five people, but you can do it all by yourself, because you're smart, so it needs to be done like, tuesday"

but like, no?  ok?  you want me to do something that's super hard to figure out, and you don't let me have any help, and i have to do it on a deadline so you can look good to your boss?  man, fuck you.

except i can't say that, because duh.  jobs.  fucking jobs.

anyway, a few weeks ago, somebody on (i think) motherless chat sent me this video.  it's been kind of cool to listen to, because it's kind of relaxing and all that.  i think the dude was trying to make a "stray"/"puppygirl" pun, because he was kind of all "did you catch that?"  yes, dude.  i caught that.  you're like 20% clever.

so, kind of a creeper, but pretty decent taste in relaxing music.





in any case...i'm concerned i need to go back to the therapist again.  there's a lot of brain stuff i can't really cope with most days.  kind of a constant drum of "no one will ever really love you, so if that's not happening, why bother dealing with 50 years of loneliness?"  thanks, brain.  i feed you yummy pizza, and you're all "let's be a dick to sammy, just for funsies."

so, you know.  hey.  i don't want to spawn a lot of "we love you, sammy," comments.  i know you're all cool like that.  and i know this is just how things sometimes go.  it's all hard sometimes, for everbody.  it's just...today was hard.  this week has been hard.  this month?  guess what?  hard.

sigh.

so i'll dry my eyes now, i guess.  tomorrow is a new day.  we'll see how it goes.