not tomorrow.
march 23, i guess, because google has no sense of style.
"He is a dreamer; let us leave him: pass."
i mean, it's right fucking there. "let's close shit up in march, when should we do it?"
"we could do an allegory to julius-"
"MARCH 23! THAT IS BEST DATE EVER!"
"ok, march 23. let's do that."
so...
what should we talk about, knowing that less than thirty days from now, all this will be wiped out forever. condemned to the dust?
"are you out of vodka, sammy?"
yes. totally out of vodka. no gin, no vodka, no jack. is jack a valid liquor? i have no whiskey now, not even the jack daniels. i like this taste in my tea. i should buy more of the jack daniels to put into tea to drink whilst pretending i'm totally not the alcoholic i was a few months ago.
SPOILER!
i'm totally the same alocoholic. i'm just better at not posting drunken rants.
"oh, but what's this you're doing?"
whatever. fuck you. like, seriously. take something, and go fuck yourself with it, in whichever hole is appropriate. like i ever cared about you. you're just some jerks on the internet, trying to coax me into sending me nudes. i'm gross now, dumbasses. i'm all fat and i don't shave much, and it's all just gross on top of gross. want nudes? want to puke?
ok, that's a bit harsh. i should not treat the end of the world quite so harshly. i mean, it's not like people are going to die or anything. we're just going to have blogs that are read by no one, and no one will ever care about people named sammy.
which, honestly, is probably the best thing. i'm a bad person, and i do dumb things. i'm not someone you should look up to. i'm the warning you should have seen in high school:
"Here we see a decadent woman. She's lost her sense of control. Now, all she can think about is her own carnal desires."
whatever.
i saw a thing today that was like, "the horrors of communist lesbian bondage."
my thought: "OMG: HOW CAN I GET THAT?"
i mean, you're going to tie me up, force me to be super friendly with cool chicks, and then, when we're done, we're going to topple the patriarchal bourgeoisie so we can eat waffles and mac&cheese forever?
how...
how is this not a thing i can do right now?
"you" not me. you don't want me to send me nudes. that would accomplish nothing. you want me to send you nudes of me so you can wank on that. that's what i meant. i assume you got that, as this wouldn't make sense otherwise. so. scene?
ReplyDeleteSure communist lesbian bondage sounds cool in the beginning, but after a few years you end up having to wait in line for hours just to get your allotted ration of rope and leather straps.
ReplyDeleteI prefer my lesbian bondage to be the good old fashioned benevolent fascism kind.
Jesse.
P.S. I totally want you to send yourself nudes, but I think you should really make yourself work for them, 'cause you don't want yourself to end up thinking you're the kind of you who would do somebody like you the first time you went out with you, if you know what you mean.
Google has send me the same email even though I don't post any pics. Well, I guess the time has come for all of us.
ReplyDelete