ugh

 holidays mean i have to pretend to be normal enough to talk with family and friends and i just don't feel up to it this year.

my brain did at least decide to provide me with a nice dream:

i'm hiking, with work people i think.  we've reached some weird part where there's a bridge in the path made out of a tree (somehow).  you have to climb up one trunk to the peak where there's a trunk that connects to the ground, and then climb down a third trunk back to the path.

i climbed up the first part, but when i got to the middle, someone pulled me to the side and told me i couldn't do it like that.  i'm taken to this mall like place next to the hiking trail, and bustled around through a bunch of rooms and people until i'm eventually in one large room, and i've been stripped naked.

that's when the Dominatrix appears, and gives some order to someone else, and i again get bustled through a bunch of rooms, and when i'm returned to her, i have a chastity belt strapped on.  she's super angry about this, because that wasn't her order.  it's removed, and she slides a catheter in (with far less pain than it probably causes in real life), and then forces me down to push a double balloon enema plug into my butt.

that's somehow what i'm supposed to use on the hike, and it kind of makes sense in the dream?  something happens here (i think i woke up a bit), and when it's clear again, the sun is down, and it's closing time.  the Dominatrix returns, and tells me that if i've joined the Spaghetti Club, i can go have dinner with someone else (she looks kind, and i realize i am hungry).  i try to explain that i don't know what's going on, but i'm totally happy to sign up for whatever, because i have a week of vacation left, and would rather do fun stuff here than continue hiking.

the Boss arrives, and she brings all my clothes and things stuffed in a bag.  i dig out my credit card, and hand it over, and have to recite something word for word back to her, and then she swipes it and i put it back in the bag before it's taken away.  i don't know how much it costs, but it sounds like it'd be fun.

there's another lapse, and it's much later at night.  i'm sleeping on a kitchen table, which is really thick, and super shiny with all the varnish.  i wander around, and finally find the room the Dominatrix is in, and she rushes to the door.  "sorry, i'm with someone else right now, i'll find you later.  unless he doesn't mind if you come in?"  i wander around some more before finding "my room."

when i wake up (actually, when i go back to sleep after turning off my alarm), i realize i have to bake my ham for dinner today (a real life thing that i didn't get to until 5pm).  i finally find the "kitchen," and try to follow all the instructions on the wall for turning on the oven.  the Dominatrix finds me, and helps me sort out the oven (which involves puzzles and all sorts of weird stuff, like the controls for the oven being attached to a third oven), and i get my ham in to cook.

unfortunately, that's when i woke up for real.  still, it was a really nice dream in which i had nice human contact with someone who was just 100% loving and supportive.