memory hole shit here. sorry.

i write posts.

i send my boss emails.

i watch videos that put songs into my head to be stuck there for days.

i do all this drunk off my ass and blissed out on a variety of drugs that are totally legal.

totally fucking legal.  you can get so much brain alteration on the quick without much trouble.

but not xanax.  you know, that thing that actually solves problems.  the one that makes you not a crying mess in front of your friends and parents.  that's controlled.  with all sorts of fucking hoops to get through.

"i don't think you need that," she said, looking at me like i was sane.  "That seems excessive."

this is why i'm super down on this therapy try.  i want something to take to make me not panic about everything.  i want to be able to go get taco bell without worrying about pissing myself.

so.  here's my wishlist for 2016.

hawaii sorts out that bullshit medical marijuana shit, and i can get that from doctors who are ok with being cool.  my friend in california seems to have done that, and doesn't get the worry/panic i live with.

we elect hilary.  or, bernie.  i am so agnostic on this, i can't put it into words.  i want someone who isn't going to call for me to be stabbed in the neck their first day in office.  "but sammy, what about marco rubio?  he seems like not a nazi!"  yeah.  and he's going to stand up to people who are all "gay people are good for burning so we can warm"?


i mean... when your options are crazy fucking jerks who want to murder you for not being cool with rape, their friends, and people who are like, "hey, maybe let's help people not be in poverty", how is that an option.

ok.

time to get more super drunk and pass out.

whatever.