does anyone else?

just get drunk...

oh.

yeah.

so i did like a month of sober, and then when my doctor was all "yay!  better liver!"

decided that if i just drink on weekends, maybe that's ok too?  right?

listen, judgy mcjudgersons out there.  i have a life i'm really not happy living, and sometimes drinking a bunch of vodka seems like a good idea.  yes it'll probably kill me, but at least when i die i'll be so drunk it won't matter.

or so i hope.

but i am trying to be healthier, and all that jazz, and it wasn't like i had to get a drink, i just didn't see why i couldn't have a drink.

that sounds like i'm a super-drunk.  just... can we agree it's not as bad as it could be?  i'll try to not kill myself everyday, and you all come back with, "we don't want to stab you in the eyes, sammy!"

that's really all i'm asking for.  not getting stabbed in the eyes.


anyway...(roll your eyes here for best effect)

you think of something, and then go to amazon to add it to your cart.  and then your cart comes up "you have $170 in shit in your cart".

there's no way you're buying that much, right?

click click click "oh, what?  shipping is $20?  what's free shipping cost?" $19.44.  "what?  why?" because you're buying shit through the marketplace because it's $210 cheaper, sammy, and the marketplace is where original producers (who you're buying from) and cheap jackass hacks (who jack up their shipping so they can sell you a $0.01 book) live.  relax, sammy, it's still cheapest.


drunk sammy still gets imaginary annie in her brain.  that totally read, "relax, pet," when i first wrote it.


i'm not sure having fantasy people write my blog is a good thing.

so.

does anyone else just feel sorry about everything, and hope everyone they know can just forgive them?